Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
