the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
