I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
