I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
