some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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