My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
