1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
