If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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