It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Did I show you my penis last night?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
