oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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