Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize