Whod you bang
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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