I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
