Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
