There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i jhust puked up my retainher.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
