dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
