she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
