You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
