Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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