i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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