just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
