I'll bet she douches with gravy.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
