"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I look better un-naked...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week đ
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes âI drove you last nightâ\nâYou got your dick sucked in the back seatâ
Randomize
