I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
