Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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