I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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