Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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