I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
