Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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