Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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