I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
