HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
