I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
