Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
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My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
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tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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