but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
