loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
