That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
