i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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