I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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