____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize