In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Green mimosas i think yes
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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