Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize