Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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