So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize