Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
