Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My liver just broke up with me...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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