My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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