I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize