Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
