I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
