I wanna bring you to show and tell
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
What a dumb baby whore.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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