you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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