And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
this is an emotional support booty call
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
