Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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