I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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