So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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