i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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